::Cancer: any malignant growth or tumor caused by abnormal and uncontrolled cell division; it may spread to other parts of the body through the lymphatic system or the blood stream


everybody seem to be getting it nowadays...


usually it come uninvited...


usually....



in fact no one will invite it...


but...


anyway... hasnt been feeling good today....


yesterday...


the day before....


any other days...


wow... thats a long time...


if the worst come true...


there is more to go...


i need sum comfort... lotsa it...::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 10:44 PM:.
...
::Im not gona bitch~~


Im not gona bitch~~


Im not gona bitch~~


cant~~


looking at other people's blog... im filled with tingling sense of jealousy.. y can other people's life be so fun.. loving... full of energy but the ting that i blog is none other then bitter.. resent... bitching and all the other negative feelings...


sumone told me.. "its becos you onli look at the negative aspect of your life.."


"Oh realli~~" i replied... "Jus name a few things is postive~~"


Sumone replied "you've got a job with good pay"


Me: "i rather not haf the job"


Sumone:"you haf a complete family"


Me:"Im keeping my finger cross to that"


Sumone:"you haf a beautiful gf"


Me:"till the day she is realli mine, no comments"


Sumone:"you've got a bunch of very good friends"


Me:"arh.. thats true..."


so you see.. friends is the onli thing that i felt thats realli intact in my life.. for all of u thats ard.. n close.. you touch my heart...


thank you.. esp zhiwei... despite his exam... he is always here for me.. n rachal.. for the ktv session yest.. and the ghost story.. and serious... PHUA CHEE WEE... i saw you coming down wif pple in the lift yest lo... dun try n fake me... lol... guess in a way.. rachal shld sumhow understand how i felt the most...


and yah.. to add on to the bitching... my computer crash. for no reasons at ALLLLLL!! sori... i've got no moni to revive u yet... so i've jus got to make do with my brother's lappi...


so so shag aft the run.. gona slp till my dearie come.. nitezz::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 10:22 AM:.
...
::this post is delicated to you...


sumtimes im jus like a little kid... yearning for your endless attention...


sumtimes i try my luck... hmm... abt too often...


i thank you.. for your attention during this busy times...


i thank you.. for your company during this time strip period...


Looking forward to the days when you can spend time with me...


Looking forward to the days when we can tour the world...


Saw your hardwork... you reap wat you sow...


your effort put in will not go unrewarded...


Gd Luck... all the best for your exam...


*im waiting for you~~::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 9:47 PM:.
...
::jus came back from mj session at jiejie hse... lost... lost big time... nearly... and i really say nearly... i lost all my chips... sad... damn tired now... think im awake for nearly a straight 24hrs.. wow...


but i couldn't slp...


got to know an unpleasent news...


nope... its a bad news...


its a thing that nobody want...


but its jus happen to me...


to my family...


the future is unknown now...


uncertainty....


im lost... totally lost...


to date i think its e only thing thats worse then a breakup...


so if there is a breakup...


wuah la~~


im speechless...


in fact im oredi speechless now...::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:41 AM:.
...
::Im bored~~ yup...


mayb not bored...


Im sian~~ yup...


But not realli sian~~ cos Im actualli quite busy at work...


Im feeling empty.. emotionally empty..


unbearable....


Very...


Affects the way i tok... the way i eat.. the way i sleep... basically everything..


so i blog.. trying to keep myself busy... for this one moment... jus to escape from the clutches of this emptiness knowing that it will come back and hunt me sooner or later..


soo... long long long time... before blogging... or every internet is around... i used to haf this little diary.. jus took it out recently... after.. ummm... like 10 years... and found out there is only 7 entries.... only one entry per year.. lol...


each entry narrates a sad part of me.. in retrospect... they sounded quite stupid.. haha.. hopefully when i look back at my life in due time... i will feel stupid too... in fact im oredi feeling abit stupid... wahaha~~


been trying to escape from this emptiness... this loneliness... this... this... void... but it seem to be a bottomless pit...


tried to fill it with work... nAh~~ it only makes it worse..


tried to fill it with friends... does help.. but they cant be there 24/7 rite...


tried to fill it with uHmMm... nAh.. its not working...


so you see.. im engulf by this huge monster call empty monster and i have no where to hide!!


ArRrrRRgggGGggHHHH~~~ get away... get away~~~


OnE fInE day iM jus gona be a zombie... walking around.. without a soul~~


PS: btw when thru Qx blog jus now.. saw a close up of a necklace.. so... i was thinking... uhmm.. pls tell me that the person in the foto is not you.. can you.. cos the blossom seem to full on you.. hmm.. sori jus being evil... btw.. this reminds me.. fotoshop can actualli do lotsa wonder~~ lalalala~~::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 10:20 PM:.
...
::sO you see... im back again.. bitching bout my life... sum time the harder one try the deeper one fall... absoultly true... harder i try to get rich.. the poorer i become.. hmmm...


so... every start of a new thing is hard.. gota agree with that.. so... will i ever get out of this.. umm.. poverty circle?? hmmm.. those who look dwn on me beta watch out... if given a chance.. i will prove you wrong...


soooo... wat is this blog all bout... its about a poor man trying to bitch abt his poor life jus before he sleeps...


gd nite everyone... im going crazy again........::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 1:22 AM:.
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