::wendy wanted to mit up before we go langkawi.. so we decided to jus go dwn to chamber 82.. keke.. not 81 but 82.. for a drink and ktv.. was half expectin the game "the King n I" to find his way to our table.. not surprising.. before long we started the game..

Oh.. a bloodly sway nite.. i seem to be the permenent member of the forfited panel.. and i always get to do the most jia lat forfit.. sad.. all for the fun i guess.. there is a saying thats kinda popular within us nw.. "wat happens in the club, stays in the club". Dun have a very good impression towards this line tho.. cos it was first said to me by sumone.. yup.. those cls to me will know whu.. argh.. aniway i think i clocked the most forfit timing so.. sigh~~

its really a crazy nite.. phew its over.. getting ready to go langkawi ler... but haven even pack yet.. hahaha~~ okie.. will update my blog if i had the chance... will miss u all badly... esp wed the mambo..

Ps: to my 6 times partner gui gui, wah i haf to say that u are good lo... ur skill.. realli up arh.. where u learnt it frm... issit wu shi zhi tong? haha~~ i think yest is fated.. always kana wif u.. go n upgrade ur oredi good skill k.. next time we pit our skills again.. "sLuRp" hahaha~~::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 11:51 AM:.
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::bac home.. finally... n its early... on usual days i will be with the rest of the mambo kakis at shell.. thot im driving pple bac.. in the end i realise that meng was driving too.. nvr m.. a lonely drive home is good too..

comments about zouk: hmm.. its change quite abit.. isit worth that 7 million.. well.. mayb the deco ba.. look posh.. more classy.. everything is so rounded.. one thing sad.. is that the platform is smaller.. how isit gona accomodate the every growing population of mambo crazy pple i wonder.. they added alot of woofer.. sound quality is good.. but deafening...

spent my whole nite.. nearly the whole nite with my poly n sim pple... missed my podium but.. its jus too many old bird ard.. pple like me haf to jus let em haf the place ba..

was consoling a friend who was crying.. got poke in the nose 3 times.. mouth 2 times.. my ears pulled at countless times till it bleed.. guess it was jus a bad day.. phew.. luckly the song was good.. when the mambo bug bit.. u can dance aniwhere.. keke..

hope she does get betta.. realli... takes time but.. well i think i kinda get over it.. umm.. partially over at least.. haha.. for a moment i was unsure.. haha~~ at least im not that affected by her non reply.. partial reply.. so yah.. im feeling beta..

realise u jus have to move on.. n realli let go.. hard to let go but at the end of the day.. u will feel much lighter.. realli...

*reply to ur dun anihow write: i love u!!!!*::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 4:03 AM:.
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::hehe.. im bac home again.. n u guessed it... im out of sickbay and back to my hse... hehe... got 2 days mc.. hee.. for those who think i chao keng.. oh fark off.. u shld c my eye this morning.. but due to sum out of the camp fresh air.. my eyes are beta again!! haha~~ true u know.. the aura in the camp is too much.. and i tend to fall sick..

hee.. preparing myself for mambo tonite... thot i would miss it.. yeah!! but i din.. keke.. am soo soo excited.. miting cat n zen there early.. hee.. guess wat i am looking for the whole month is finally here! gona go there early.. for the fear of long queue.. there is bound to be a long queue..

too excited to blog much.. shall update when im back!

*whisperin our gdbye, waiting for the train, im dancing with my baby, in summer rain!*::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 8:27 PM:.
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::oh.. its sickening... im now at sickbay.. cos of my bloody eyes... thot i could get a day of mc or 2.. but suckzz.. in e end i was sentence to sickbay till i get beta.. know i cant complain.. but geez.. i took a bloody 20 mins to load this bloody page... can u feel my anger towards this 56k speed!!

woke up feeling depress.. still cant get over certain things... but i can slowly feel that im getting more n more determine to walk out of it... but im jus scared that i might jus jump frm one hole to another.. hoping that it will be a smaller hole... hmm..

got abit disappointed when sumone said to me today.. that its good to have a non commintment kind of relationship.. no worries... njoy the company.. good times.. good memories..

okay lah... i do agree nowadays its kinda "trendy". but not alot of pple can take it i guess... but in a way if u are the kind that can take it... it makes u a player isnt it.. jus haf fun.. its perfect if both party can jus b as xiao sha.. but in reality how many "couples" can do that? sumone will get hurt.. n the more xiao sha one is the player am i rite..

as i grow older... i start to c more n more of these example.. its realli kinda sad...

the day in the sickbay set mi thinking.. yess.. again... picking myself up again.. but wondering if i shld place myself on the betting table again... but i guess.. this time round.. its surely a beta bet... risk of losing is equally high... but hope the risk decreases down the road...

but one thing for sure.. the past has past and im moving on.. guess its affecting jus too much of my life and im sick of it..

guess im gona jus miss tml's mambo.. this bloody eye of mine.. sigh..

jus to update.. im going langkawi nxt week!! gona take it as a rest.. and be recharged... hopfully u will get to c a new Dan!!::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 10:10 PM:.
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::decided to blog be for i start to make my way back camp.. sumtimes i wonder y i keep blogging... its a way to keep my sanity i guess.. pple were saying its good being a single.. grass is always greener on the other side i guess.. being single you can have alot of fun.. but seriously to me... issit wat i wan... you jus cant have the best of those world rite... fun.. all those fun.. are short lived.. one night and its gone.. week in week out you will have to find watever fun that is to fill up your actual lonely heart.. kinda meaningless if u ask me.. i prefer i stable relationship... seriously.. i was asked... wats stable.. my answer will be stable is the kinda feeling that you know that u haf sumone to fall back to whenever.. wherever u need.. a person who will share your joy.. saddness.. problems... by jus having that right person in your life can actually set alot of things rite for you i guess...

im oredi late for my book in timing.. n im still blogging.. i dunno.. jus feel very unwilling to do things i dun want nw...im sick.. reali... those whom im told em about will know wat im toking abt.. but its tired to act like im normal in front of the rest whom dunno... many still think that im as carefree as before.. think that im alrite.. well.. false front... its all a false front..

at times i really duno how i shld continue my days.. realli... rite now im onli lookin for that FUN.. yup.. that kinda fun thats high but short lived.. in a way it leave you high and dry... yearning for more.. but the truth is this kinda fun dun last.. geez.. YET the stupid me is still trying to hold on to things which i know will end sumday.. sIgH... hey pls wake up Leh... wake uP... pLs.. pLs...

i wanted to.. buT wILL i gEt tO knOw tHaT pErSoN tHaT caN mAke Me wAkE uP
wHeRe r U.. i mIsS u sO mUcH::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 10:12 PM:.

::over.. its over... a call in the afternoon sorta seal the fate.. drawing an end to a relationship which i treasured so much... pple said that i look alrite.. i guess u just haf to keep a lookout for me down the road... when the news sunk in it will be the time when i experience my second round of depression... these emotions hit me ever so frequently now that i am losing grip on alot of things im doing.. realli... its getting messy.. peharps its bcos i din control... mayb its bcos im trying to prove my worth.. at the end of the day.. i realli dunno wat im doing.. im lost and quite aimless... but im starting to move on.. am i? i hope.. easier said than done... realli.. well at least i haf the thots... but when those bolts of emotions strike i realli dun know where to hide..

Nevertheless friends is always there.. sori have to put the above paragraph.. dun mean to bring down the topic fun filled nite... but well.. the call came in the afternoon.. dUh~~ its not nite yet..

so lets proceed on to the fun filled nite.. it started with k dinner with chloe.. thanks.. this pretty gal stood by me these past 3 weeks.. things are kinda confusing.. cos the both of us are sad so sumtimes i really wonder who is the one who company each other... being very ke qi... she will always say that im the one who company her... but the true fact is i needed the company too.. so i guess the feelings are jus mutual... anyhow... we when thru our usual song... those close to me will know that my fav song now will be Guang Liang's Ru guo ni hai ai wo.. brought down tears.. memories.. every word in the lyrics seem to be jus tailored to my relationship.. anyway... i was telling her that i dun wan any sad song... got thru the nite with largely happy songs.. until the last one.. yup.. she said that she like the way i sung the Guang Liang song.. the last song.. nope i din cry.. all i wanted is to make it the best song i've sung.. with a purpose.. i think i did it... i myself was impress by the way i sing it...

----------------- toilet break---------------------
guess chloe had the same feeling these days.. think i drank too much nowadays... in most cases i will be struck dwn by diarreoa... or lao sai.. pHew.. can you imagine the feeling of peeing from your arshole =O sIcK.. daniel you are jus too sicK~~
----------------- toilet back ---------------------
after the k dinner, tgt with chloe we proceeded to eksi bar at boat quay to continue with the fun filled nite.. we met zhiwei and hazel... and you know wat.. its a good place to chill out... yup... literally... the place was damn cold... frezzing.. and the worse thing is... they ran out of jacket... but in any case we were warming up to each other's company.. playing our usual 5 10... paving way to our craziest nite ever.. glad that chloe is able to merge in quite comfortably.. anyway we r a bunch of friendly pple.. who wun'nt feel comfy with us?

left the place after 3 long island tea... proceeded to chamber.. a ktv pub for our second round.. or for me the third round of fun... was going to finish our chivas... sung a few songs.. and of cos.. its that song i sing very well that made the whole ktv pub quieten down.. keke.. we continued our nite with games.. lotsa games.. umm... of which is kinda hard to say wat types of games.. but uhmm... we had lotsa lotsa lotsa of fun... no offence guys.. but sumtimes instead of getting the quantity i rather get the quality.. yest althot its only four person but the fun we had.. was more then 40 pple put tgt...

after that we went dwn to zhiwei hse for 4th round of drinking... hehe... power rite... but by then every1 was exhasted.. i took a nap.. till 630.. and cant believe it... i had 3 nightmare within the span of 45mins... shook me up..

gota send the 2 gals home... so had to leave at 7.. went jurong hougang... den to home sweet home yishun.. wat a day!::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 2:53 PM:.
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::surprise! how com im blogging now? haha~~ i've got sore @@.. hey dun tink im crazy k... found the much needed freedom.. at least for next 2 days.. short lived but precious! my days.. are hard.. training days.. personal life.. hope to jus be able to put down certain things.. mayb my life will be betta.. hard.. everything is hard.. drill is hard.. esp looking at the condition of my hand.. bruise.. cant bend.. over the weekend.. cat had a good laugh at how i try to scratch my bac but couldnt reach.. thanks hor..

den as usual my sad personal life.. sigh.. nothing to say.. but to jus live with it and c whr it leads me to.. dwn the road i wanna say sori to quite a few pple.. in the process.. i think i did things which i shldnt.. and to those pple who wrong me or cross my line i say HELL TO U may you not treat pple liddat anymore..

wats sweet might not be good eventually.. remember::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:20 PM:.
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::after a week of book training.. i finally get to book out.. wkend was filled with activities.. ktv.. ktv.. ktv.. dbl o... baby 1st mth treat.. dinner with chloe.. was all pack within 36 hrs.. prob im trying to numb myself i guess.. running to participate in anything my friends come up with..

sumthings wats lost is hard to get bac i guess.. wat is meant to be.. wat is not.. happy memories are wats left... i tried to reach bac for wats lost but.. the answer wasnt favourable.. hate to let go.. but haf to let go... mayb another last try?

going back camp today.. this week is gona be tougher.. realli.. w/o mental support i realli wonder hw i could survive.. hate to tink... but i mus think.. dun wanna do thing wo thinkin after this morning.. it wun help but will jus make my life worse..

short blog yah i know.. but there isnt much happy stuff so.. dun really wan my blog to be a gloomy one.. so till i haf sum good n nice things that happen to me.. i think i shall keep the lenght of my blog this..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 9:13 AM:.
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::oH.. its fixed.. i shall be a guai army boy from tml onwards.. sTaRting frm tml.. i will be onli booking out during weekends... sigh~~ gone are the days of going hm.. going out for movies.. going out for supper.. going out for ktv... all in all.. gone are the freedom... chatting with my cousin in malaysia now... was telling her how much i will miss my hm.. guess one will only miss a thing when its gone for good... till den.. no matter how hard you try.. it is not gona come back.. nvr.. nvr.. nvr AGAIN!!! aRgH~~ i lost it for a moment..

pple are not lucky all the time.. esp me.. wats lost cant be retrieved.. no matter how hard u try.. in fact the harder u try... the further it will go.. im mending a very deep crack now.. sad to say when things start to sunk in.. wow the feeling is wat i haf nvr felt before.. frosty cold lonliness isolated confused paranoid... i jus hope to be given a reason.. or even an excuse.. at least there is a conversation going on.. but silence... silence is the worse thing one can ever have... realli... total disregard.. total ignorance.. total neligence... who would have the heart to do that.. i always wonder.. but yet i have met it myself... painful lesson? mayb? this will be remembered.. always..

Its a tErros to be fighting with lonliness.. i prob scared chloe yest.. sori.. was oredi controlling.. if not it will b worse i think.. hope we can still meet up.. lol..

aNd to my dEar SiSter cat.. thanks.. thanks for the call... knew u will always be there.. wat am i gona do wo u.. seriously.. being the eldest is very lonely.. yup lonely again... how i wish that i can have an elder sibling.. at least i can jus cry on their shoulders.. im tired.. very.. really after the holiday im still very.. very tired.. no amt of rest can get me out.. everyday felt gloomy... how.. teach me... letting go is jus so much.. after i let go.. hw shld i go from there.. im lost... lost in the wide world with no one to care for..

friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends
you all are wats left in my life... love you all::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 6:37 PM:.
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::this shall be one of the few times im blogging le.. gona start my life in a new place.. nice pple... bad working hours.. i will need to stay in camp from mon to fri.. back to training days... having no emotional support is bad.. but... sigh..

wanted to jus leave and free my mind.. back in the past... i used to live happily even when im single.. but now... i cant live a sec jus being alone.. lonliness strikes me like lighting.. the feeling undescrible.. with no words can express that kind of fear i have..

yet i wallow in self denial that things might kinda get beta.. stupid me.. thats wat i told my new friend too.. but easier said den done..

i realli hate it... yes hate it.. when pple blog about happy things that happen... good things that happen.. and i can onli... always... everytime... blog about my sad miserable lonely life... the feeling sux.. the feeling sux because.. pple get bored reading it.. i get bored writing it.. but at the end of the day blogging is one of my limited ways of venting my emotions....

im going crazy... i dun even understand myself ler.. doing things which i shldnt.. thinking abt things which i nvr thot b4.. ArGGrgHhhHHhh!!!!!!!!!

cant believe it! im being brought down by #%$#$@%$@ dAmN!::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 6:50 PM:.
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::saddness is all i have to say... life's A BITCH!!!!::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:42 AM:.
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::haNg out wif qx and chloe yesterday... was planning actually to go zhiwei hse for mahjong with meng ge.. but after i got a free sms frm chloe... hmm.. suddenly the clubbing bug bit me.. actualli its not realli e sms... felt like clubbing b4 the sms came.. as u know.. i might be staying in frm next week.. so.. abit lost.. wanna play as much as i could.. n we went dbl o.. the whole nite was norm.. nothing much happen.. except for the last part when sumone actualli smash a glass on the ground.. being so lucky nowadays chloe n me was sum wat in the path of the broken glasses.. chloe hurt her leg.. was bleeding.. hope its fine oredi..

as usual i was ignored.. pple like chloe n cat shld understand wat i meant.. so i have made up my mind to go dbl o 2 day! hope it can make up sum lost mambo memories...

bEeN in a topic of Player and playee discussion with qx yesterday on our way to dbl o... we jus found that in this time.. there are jus too many players ard.. hmm.. this make us wonder... so being a playee like us.. we realli have a distinct disadvantage... shld we jus try to convert to a player.. alot of times...easier said then done... and i believe i should not turn myself into sumone im not.. HOWEVER! im determine not to get hurt~~ lol easier said then done once again.. we shall c where time and experience takes me to ba..

ps: johnny, things r certainly beta.. but u know after so long of bad things coming.. u tend to get abit paranoid when little things get bad..

~~tHe FuTuRe iS uNkNoWn~~::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 4:56 PM:.
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