::todae was a peaceful day..not good but peaceful.. having gone thru so much.. with at least a major scolding a day.. 2day is a day where i get to haf sum peace n quiet.. never knew that a veri normal day like this haf such a calming effect.. its been a long long time.. i almost forget hw a normal day is like..

sum pple say diary is a collection of ur memories.. experiences.. yes.. but to me its also a history textbook.. a book that 1 can learn frm past mistake so to lead a betta life in the future.. this whole month has certainly bring me down.. but not under.. hope i will raise up to become stronger.. always thot that my experience in sec skool plus my EQ is enff to bring mi across to where i want.. not true.. the book of experiences jus keeps growing thicker.. God has made mi realise.. life is a learning experience till the last heartbeat.. tho it seem like the world seem to know that.. but i guess pple get complacent over time.. n i happen to be one of em.. this period made me realise.. there is alot of things i cant predict.. cant forsee.. cant control..

nope.. life is not getting ani betta.. in fact it might turn for the worse anytime.. im getting myself prepared.. trying not to let myself sink so deep dwn again.. but im not confident.. i will try..

suddenly a mambo song jus pops up to my head... "guilty *bAnG* of love.. guilty *baNg* of love in.. guilty.. guilty.. guilty of love in the first degree.." so sori.. sHhHh..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 8:50 PM:.
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::im jus sick... sick in the brain.. the mind.. sick of my life.. sick of my job.. sick of my boss.. sick of complaining.. sick of crashing my car.. sick of going hm to face the 4 walls.. sick of worrying 4 the next day.. sick of doing my report.. sick of being aimless.. sick of being tired mentally.. sick of onli updating sad n down side of my life.. sick of trying to guess wats my special sum1 is tinking.. sick of telling myself to be postive.. sick of trying to force a brave front..

tired is the word.. i jus wana do the thing i wan.. gd or bad.. for pple or 4 myself.. dun wan tink bout the consquences..

Despite screwing up every aspects of my life.. i thank god that there is a part of me which is still very much intact.. n that is my friends.. the onli onli onli pillar of strength thats left to hold my life up..

I wana thank the below mentioned for all u have done..

Cat - thankz for being there always.. ur little msgs of concern always come at the rite time.. sumtimes jus in time to pull mi away frm doing sumthing stupid.. thankz for ur ever speedy reply (except when u r playing mj...

cLaIre - dun even know if u knew my blog... but nvrtheless.. if u ever get to come across my blog here is wat i haf for u.. Ur presense is ever so comforting.. umm.. n those "IQ questions" that u come up with in attempt to cheer me up.. did cheer mi up.. thankz for the time spent.. little things that u haf done.. will go dwn my memory lane..

wenDy - old friend.. old friend.. guess this is the first time u saw me so lost.. so screw up.. so how can i steer my life back on track? sIgh.. thankz for that nite at seletar.. noe u are veri tired ler.. but u still come out.. its good to ba able 2 tell u everything.. gd... bad.. sinful.. evil... crazy.. things ive thot n done.. guess the advice that i once gaf u come in handy.. u r gifing bac to me nw.. thankz my dear frind..

zhiwei - buddy.. thankz man.. always had fun at seletar..gd listener.. willing to spent time wifz me.. rem the lousy ktv we went suckz man.. but thanks 4 ur company that day.. ur advice.. u might disapprove.. but u can understand y i did it... i dun need pple to agree on wat i do.. all i need is their understanding.. n u did jus that.. thankz..

jUnhao - this guy saw my whole life frm gd.. to dwn.. to bad.. to the pt whr i broke dwn.. very understanding.. help mi all the way in camp.. w/o u.. think im long died... best buddy in camp.. will always be..

you r the onez that stood by me thru this darkest time.. thankz..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 3:39 PM:.
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::the past few days were like HELL for me.. it took my mental state to a place i nvr been before.. i was totally down.. yes hit hard rite into the face.. left mi bleedin.. in shock and awe.. that i dun even bother to wipe that trails of blood off my face.. i sat bac... hopin my time on this once lovely planet would end rite nw.. NOW.. close friends knew wat i was toking about.. they felt the full impact of my emotions..

but now im recovering.. but it still hurts.. very much... holding to live on.. is jus a favour to those who care for me.. im goin on.. looking normal..jus for you all.. yes its you all.. crash my father's car.. getting c*****D in camp.. was like.. lost for words.. there's a person who stood beside me.. you know who u r.. i thanked you.. pulled mi frm that "cliff".. given mi your time.. comfort.. attention.. and all that i need to pull thru this worse phrase of my life.. i might not be able to recipocate wat u have given to me.. forgive me..

LoSt.. lost for word.. next action i shld take.. to steer my life bac.. i jus seem to sail further into the world of hostile and unknown world.. wat step should i take.. choose? spoke with wendy n zhiwei jus now.. cant reach a conclusion.. every1 would b hurt .. its jus sooner or later.. sigh.. dun wanna think about it.. go with the flow.. but the flow seems to go for the worse.. im not thinking straight.. too tired to tink? to try? im drain of all energy thats left.. i will go with the flow..

too tired.. jus too tired.. i need a rest..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 1:40 AM:.
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::well well if onli i could... you know.. the thing bout trying to console pple.. the most common advice 1 gif is.. relax.. things isnt that bad.. dun wori too much.. dun think bout it.. jus njoy wat you r doing nw.. hmm.. think bout it that will also be my response to sumbody in trouble.. ( umm.. not applicable to relationship prob tho.. i haf quite alot of advice up my sleeves.. but.. when it comes to my own relationship.. im often lost.. hmm.. nvr m.. thats not e topic 2day)bUt u c.. sumtimes.. its realli hard to like.. not think about it rite..but thanks.. its the thot that counts.. Wanna thank those who stood ard me.. trying to make mi feel beta.. gifing mi encouraging msges.. companying mi till wee hours of the day ;) cant do w/o ur company..

went to my usual club again.. yes aGaIn.. drank abit at first.. got my retribution i guess.. last week i trick a regular to drink a whole jug of vodka housepour.. while i finish my jug of fruit punch.. which i pass off as vodka orange.. hee.. so this time round.. too paisay to not drink wifz him.. zen came at ard 11 plus.. drank beer wifz him too.. cant realli mix beer n liquor.. got abit high.. eeee..

went off awhile to a new club call momo wif claire n jerry.. not a very fun plc.. or mayb its jus me n my mood.. went off at ard 12.. headed bac to dbl o.. njoyed myself fully on the platform.. songs were great.. sUmMeR rAin!! haha~~ my fav SoNg.. not onli mine i guess.. the whole podium is like crazy over this song..

good things haf 2 end? after the dance.. i think tension between the 2 of em started to build up.. torn in between.. friends were like running to both side trying to make sure that neither of em felt left out.. realli hope things turn out fine la.. hope time can help..

thankz to the beer at 330.. i rested for awhile b4 heading hm.. glad that claire actualli offered company.. argh.. tml is e jugdement day.. i jus hope that things turn out alrite..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 10:12 PM:.
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::after a week of vacation.. im back again.. couldnt realli call it a veri fun trip.. well.. those ard me shld noe y by now.. yes.. its the camp.. its so depressin cos.. since monday.. all.. yes ALL the msges or calls i recieve is from the camp.. sigh.. literally spoiled my whole holiday.. seriously if i had the choice.. i would not go.. but.. my parents.. they realli hope i join em.. glad that jer came along.. sori dear.. knew that my mood actualli spoil yours..

before i reach sg yest.. im glad that i started hafin friends asking where was i.. esp zhiwei.. haha~~ cant believe that sum1 in sg actually miss me so much.. haha~~ great buddy! BuT.. bUt.. he scratch my car! haha~~ he took it for a repainting.. geez.. seriously im not mad or anithing.. but he shldnt repaint it.. i think its a waste of money.. down e road im also gona accumulate "designs" on my car 2.. y not wait till we haf collected enff of these "designs" b4 we repaint.. nvertheless.. thanks for takin care of the car 4 me..

had fun yest nite.. went bowling.. with zhiwei, meng, rara or raca, hazel, euegne n cat.. went 3 on 3 yest.. was abit sad cos i din really do veri gd yest.. no double no turkey.. glad that my spares were kinda consistant.. (but so were my open frames..keke) got 158 for the 1st game.. 141 for the 2nd.. not great at all by my standards but to the guys.. well well.. think i could how lian abit.. lost my 2nd round to zhiwei's strike.. geez.. cost mi a supper.. nvr mind.. i shall brush up my skills and take on u all again!::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 1:57 PM:.
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::yest.. wat a dae.. woke up at 2.. started doing my report at 3.. allllllll the way till 945.. sigh.. think i cant live w/o my dbl... went dwn with cat n uhm.. zen.. realli abit like caught in between.. as usual.. saw alot of friends.. bobby n co.. meng.. kaijing.. kenny..ziling.. baboon.. bowen.. and many of the sec skool friends like kaixing.. sumthing happen within pple on the platform.. geez.. very tricky situation.. aniway zen decided 2 go dwn east coast to drink.. decided to follow him... jus afraid that he will drink too much..tink 2 much.. got claire 2 company me (ThanKz).. suppose to get cat bac hm first b4 going dwn.. but halfway thru she wanted to find ken at east coast 2.. and i was like dUh~~ anyway.. sumthing happen in the car that kind of freak mi out on the way to claire hse.. promise not to say it out.. but gosh.. betta not happen a 2nd time.. went home veri early.. yes.. early as in early in the morning... got a msg frm sum1.. was quite affected by it.. im not really prepared to lose a friend yet.. hope things turn out alrite..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 3:08 PM:.
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::din went for the west coast run 2day.. guess i was sick.. flu.. hmm.. an illness that has been around since the start of time.. this time round it stuck me.. so.. got mcself a mc.. waiting for pple to say i chao keng.. watever.. learn to realli disregard wat they say ler.. totally dissappointed wifz pple frm the army.. was realli tink these few days.. is army reali that fuck up? no.. not actually.. it is jus that it is run by a bunch of people who know nuts about management principles.. a bunch of lowly educated guy whu think that they know EVERYTHING.. and that other advices are jus not good enff..

watever.. still got tons of report to type.. dun think its gonna stop till monday morning when i step out to malaysia ba.. thankz zen n co for their company.. listening to my stories.. was a nice n peaceful nite except for the fact i need to get sick..

signin off nw.. time to conitune with my shitty stuff again...::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 3:28 PM:.
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::when to zouk yest.. was in a totally fowl mood.. geez.. work related of cos.. thank for my dearie whu stood beside mii.. sendin those comforting smses.. at first i decided to go back to camp.. well jus to finish up my work.. decided to gif mambo a break this week.. but frm 9pm.. msges from various friends has been asking if im going.. well well.. temptation too hard to resist? keke.. anyway i went in e end.. hoping to dance away my unhappiness.. well at least for the nite.. saw super alot of friends there..

hmm.. i'll name them out:

The regulars: zen.. zen's friend serene.. cat.. sebastian.. allan.. kelvin... ken.. jayce..
pple frm spec 2: dehong.. benny.. benny'bro... sim..
jiansheng my bmt gay buddy...
stef and her classmates..
claire..
jerry...
my tang jie's friend whom i met before the week before but din knoe their names..
n the best is sipei.. guess wat i din see her yest but jus got a msg in friendster sayin that she saw me in zouk..

adds up to quite alot huh.. on a unplanned nite like this n havin these amt of pple u know.. and not to mention alot more familiar faces whom i greeted with jus a smile or nods.. wow.. pretty scary..

the nite was fun.. got summer rain.. got appreciative crowd.. got friends.. din regret goin.. but im going to miss nxt wk's mambo.. going on a church retreat wif my parents n dearie.. mayb i will jus go the dbl o on sat ba.. althot to me dbl o will nvr become "the real mambo place" but its a gd plc tho.. to ease the craving for mambo ba..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:15 PM:.
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::wat a day.. after slogging for 2days in a row in my camp.. i thot i could jus go hm and give myself a short break.. yes.. its sumthing i din do.. yes its sumthing i had to account for.. but pls! i also onli have 24 hrs... y izzit that my boss's busy is considered busy while my busy is considered as an excuse? you have your part to play so do i.. dun make your work mine and make your busy my busy.. it jus suckz to the core.. sumtimes i jus hope to get out of that dept.. be a dog trainer.. be in zone.. dun think anywhere could be worse than where i am nw.. superiors r well verse in tai chi.. every1 jus wants a piece of you.. every1 is chasing you from deadline to deadline..

shouted to my boss 2day.. not that i realli wanted to.. but i was jus piss.. yes there is sumthing i din complete.. but i was bz.. "wif what" he said.. i couldnt answer.. everyday there is unexpected things coming up.. jus take this morning for example.. i had to leave the camp to run sum errand.. anytime while you are walking along the corridor.. there could be a noise that goes "DANIEL! can you do this for mi!" and there it goes i jus myself another "BUSY" or task.. and pls dun underestimate my bad luck.. the no. of tasks jus keep growing.. how could i keep track!

im waiting.. waiting for a time when i can get the hell out of the dept.. out of my bond.. out of the place which is horrible soley becos there is a bunch of incompetent "leaders" running the show..

LiFe sUx~~ yOu sUx~~ yOu mAkE mY LiFe sUx..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:20 PM:.
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::thankz to my sir that i haf a day off to renew my passport... went down to orchard in the afternoon to mit zhiwei.. but that poor boi.. fever.. in the end i was stranded at orchard.. heng.. cat came to my company...went for a movie.. "cursed".. haha~~ a good mixed of horror and humour.. after that met my dearie to eat at yam cha... nw im going bac to complete my stuff.. sigh.. nothing interesting to say..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 8:46 PM:.
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::sigh.. cant slp... look at the timing for my last blog... got enff of the tossin n turnin on the bed.. decided to jus wake up.. do nothing.. stone... cant seem to get away from the fact that my dad's car was terribly dented.. aRgH... think i will have to realli take taxi or bus le...::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 11:14 AM:.

::hai~~ wat a day.. i think i shld realli stay at hm.. went dwn my usual club 2 day.. cat's bdae... stop over at orchard to buy sumthing.. hai~~ parked the car in the carpark.. but when i get back like 10mins aft.. there was a dent at the back bumper.. its a realli big 1.. *sHaRkZ* its a reali ReALi REALLY!!! BIG dENT lo.. it was a hit n run.. gonna get it from my dad this time round.. *sIgH* its really a shitty feelin.. suddenly i dun feel like drivin anymore.. public transport seem to be a more stress free mode of transportation.. startin to miss my MrT n BuS dAys.. y.. cant seem to get away from all these bad luck... sigh.. im so too depress to continue this blog entry.. think i will try to slp this encounter away..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:07 AM:.
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::a man without an aim is always bored... another with an aim is always bz.. so who is happier? bored man or the man who works hard for the things he want.. when im bz i always hope that i could jus sit back.. relac be bored do nothing... one the other hand.. when im bored i jus hope to have things to do.. dun you think.. sigh.. i guess the grass is always greener on the other side ya..

no happenings 2 day... its jus another sunny hot day 2 hide in the office doing reports.. doing research... cat msg in the morning... ask if wanna play mahjong.. pls lo... i think i cfm lose 1 lo... *sHrUg* lets c how the day go.. its jus plain boring.. hey to think that im bored yet bz.. hmm.. so am i a guy with aim or without.. hahaha~~ getting abit cranky le..

jUs bO liAo:

1)Do you like sushi and norimaki? These are only two of the many rice-based Japanese dishes. Did you know that two Japanese car brands were named after rice? Toyota means 'bountiful rice field', while Honda means 'the main rice field'.

2)Banging your head against a wall will use roughly 150 calories an hour.

3)Each day we lose anywhere from 10,000 to 100,000 brain cells.

4)The average adult will stand around 0.5 inches taller in the morning than in the evning due the slight cartilage compression that happens over the course of a day

5)When you wake up in the morning and find crusty stuff in your eyes, that is essentially the same as the stuff in your nose

6)The human brain is about 75% water. (for sum of my friends i think is 90% vacuum.. no.. no.. not referin 2 u wendy..)

7)The average person will spend around 2 weeks of their life waiting on traffic lights to change

8)No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times (i've tried it!)

9) The average woman consumes 6 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime (continue to be vain sumore)

10)Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:41 PM:.
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::so wat happen to the colour of my friendster.. where's my cool black.. went thru the webpage jus now.. the whole page is green! yUcKz! phEw.. my leave is finally approve.. well.. with condition of cos.. made a pact wif my boss.. i was to finish all the work b4 i go for the leave.. so sounds reasonable.. yup.. but.. tat means tons n tons of reports research.. etc.. stress.. think im gona stay in for the whole of nxt week jus to complete all this le.. all for a family holiday.. all for a church camp. all for my dear jer who took leave to join the trip..

still rem a character from warcraft.. "work work work"" describles my feelings.. "yes Master""... hope i realli can do it up by the DEADline ba.. tired veri tired.. nothing to write le... jus felt like sleeping.. dozing of rite now... ZZZzzZZzzzZZzzz....::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 5:26 PM:.
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::yester was a boring day.. duty.. cant go hm.. the regulars all went for seminar.. the nsFs got half day off... was alone rite from 2pm.. heng dearie jer msg me.. tok to her for alwhile b4 i doze off...

today.. boring.. jus work work work... reports reports reports.. sigh.. did a veri stupid thing today.. hai~~ think that it will backfire.. sHaRkZ! might even cause me to lose my overseas leave from 13 to 17.. nothing seem to turn out veri rite nowadays leh.. heard the news 2day.. bad things always happen 3 times.. a german man was 1st mugged by a grp of man in the pub... n he robbed of his wallet wif 120 pounds and his hp.. after the incident he borrowed a hp frm his friend to make a police report.. while waiting for the police to arrive.. he was mugged once again.. by another grp of pple.. robbed again.. den.. while trying to recover from e 2nd beating.. he was approach again by 3rd grp of pple.. yup u guessed it.. he was beaten up again.. sigh.. felt exactly like that man.. sigh..

sweetmemoriesofdan .. thats wat my blog is all about.. after a week of blogging it appears to be true.. there's alot of sad.. disturbing.. thot provoking things that cant be put up.. for many reasons.. onli things that are happy can be shared.. thanks to those ard me.. taking all my sH*T.. listening to all those things thats cant be put up here.. luv ya.. wun mention names... but im pretty sure u all know whu u are.. é onli name im goin to mention is dear jer.. and i promise u i will make it happen..

Getting abit emotional i think.. sigh.. sEnD mI a dOcToR pLsSsss..::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 7:32 PM:.
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