::oH.. its fixed.. i shall be a guai army boy from tml onwards.. sTaRting frm tml.. i will be onli booking out during weekends... sigh~~ gone are the days of going hm.. going out for movies.. going out for supper.. going out for ktv... all in all.. gone are the freedom... chatting with my cousin in malaysia now... was telling her how much i will miss my hm.. guess one will only miss a thing when its gone for good... till den.. no matter how hard you try.. it is not gona come back.. nvr.. nvr.. nvr AGAIN!!! aRgH~~ i lost it for a moment..

pple are not lucky all the time.. esp me.. wats lost cant be retrieved.. no matter how hard u try.. in fact the harder u try... the further it will go.. im mending a very deep crack now.. sad to say when things start to sunk in.. wow the feeling is wat i haf nvr felt before.. frosty cold lonliness isolated confused paranoid... i jus hope to be given a reason.. or even an excuse.. at least there is a conversation going on.. but silence... silence is the worse thing one can ever have... realli... total disregard.. total ignorance.. total neligence... who would have the heart to do that.. i always wonder.. but yet i have met it myself... painful lesson? mayb? this will be remembered.. always..

Its a tErros to be fighting with lonliness.. i prob scared chloe yest.. sori.. was oredi controlling.. if not it will b worse i think.. hope we can still meet up.. lol..

aNd to my dEar SiSter cat.. thanks.. thanks for the call... knew u will always be there.. wat am i gona do wo u.. seriously.. being the eldest is very lonely.. yup lonely again... how i wish that i can have an elder sibling.. at least i can jus cry on their shoulders.. im tired.. very.. really after the holiday im still very.. very tired.. no amt of rest can get me out.. everyday felt gloomy... how.. teach me... letting go is jus so much.. after i let go.. hw shld i go from there.. im lost... lost in the wide world with no one to care for..

friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends friends
you all are wats left in my life... love you all::

.:[D]@nI3L blogged on 6:37 PM:.
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